The Pros and Cons of Going to a Bridal Show

In case you’re curious, we haven’t made a decision yet on the save-the-dates. But even if we did, I probably wouldn’t disclose which design we chose since some of you will be receiving them soon! Keep your eyes on the mail in December…

Now it’s time to talk about bridal shows.

Signing in at the bridal show. Thanks go to my mom for taking these photos!

I went to one over the summer with my mother and maid of honor. And like everything else in life, there are pros and cons to going to a bridal show.

My maid of honor and I putting our names in a drawing for who knows what.

 Pros:

-It’s more or less a catalyst of ideas—you can see dresses that are on display from different vendors to generate ideas for your dream dress. You can talk with photographers about your vision and get feedback on how that might translate into the actual photos. You can even meet dermatologists who may have helpful advice on skin problems that you might have. The list goes on and on.

-So many vendors come to share their wedding-related services. You can make a lot of connections this way and even decide on some of the vendors you might want to book. I actually met my photographer at the bridal show I went to.

-Some vendors offer discounts if you book with them on the day of the bridal show.

-There are lots of drawings and contests to enter! Take advantage of this—sign up for everything. Have whoever’s with you sign up for everything, too. Although the odds were low that I’d actually win something, I did get contacted by Celebrity China, who told me that I had won a “free gift.” (Perhaps my next entry will be about our experience with them… there’s a lot to talk about on this.)

-It’s exciting. Even for a quiet and somewhat shy person like myself, I enjoyed the atmosphere of brides (and some grooms) getting geared up for their wedding day. Any time I get the chance to gather ideas for my wedding, I get really excited. And this was another opportunity to do that so I enjoyed it.

-Free stuff! I went over to the David’s Bridal booth to see what they were advertising (even though I had already done my shopping there). One of the reps started talking to me and I mentioned that I was planning on going to their store later that evening to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Because of that, she set up a faux appointment for me (I already had one), and gave me a $20 gift card to Shutterfly for “making an appointment with them.” Also, a couple of vendors were handing out free cookies—no strings attached. Who doesn’t like free cookies?

Cons:

-Obviously, vendors are still basically trying to sell you stuff. So if you’re not a fan of advertising (and who is, unless you’re the advertiser?), it can be kind of annoying. 

-The drawings and contests are great if you’re okay with your contact information being given out to tons of vendors. There’s always that off chance that you could win something, but either way—you’re going to be bombarded with emails from the vendors (and their affiliates) from here on out. So be prepared for lots of ruthless advertising headed your way.

-It’s exciting, but it can also be a headache. It’s extremely loud and crowded. If you’re not a people person and you’re not ready for it, it can catch you off guard. If you’d rather shop around for vendors online or go to a bridal store late in the evening when hardly anyone’s there, a bridal show may not be your cup of tea. Personally, I’m not a big fan of crowds but I got over my phobia for a few hours for the sake of getting ideas and having fun.

-There’s almost always a catch with the “free” stuff. At the bridal show we went to, my mom spun a random prize wheel just for the heck of it. She “won” an all-expenses-paid-vacation, but when she talked to the rep, there was a catch—you had to be “eligible,” and of course, airfare and all that jazz were not included.

So if you’re willing to spend a few hours with hundreds of other brides, sifting through a chaotic maze of wedding vendors, I’d recommend going to a bridal show. After all, you never know until you try it.

Ideas for next entry:

-Cookware/China

-Food

-Invitations

-Your Choice

-Paige

Save The Date for Save-The-Dates

And… the countdown is on! We’re about to hit the six-months-out mark in December, so we’re in the middle of searching for the perfect save-the-dates. And let me tell you, it’s been a little difficult—probably a bit more difficult than it should be (but I’m extremely picky).

The thing is, I know what I want, but apparently I have expensive taste, so it’s been hard to find what I want in my price range. So I’ve slowly started accepting (although reluctantly) different ideas for our save-the-dates. But I’ll go ahead and tell you what I originally wanted. Our theme is “internationality,” and so I really liked the idea of having our save-the-dates in the form of a passport, complete with a picture of the two of us on one of our trips. But I wanted it to be authentic-looking—none of this cheesy “Passport to Love” stuff. I wanted it to actually look like a passport. And, of course, that’s pretty hard to find.

To give you an idea of what I really want (but can’t afford), here’s someone on Etsy who seems to be doing this out of their home and customizing them to your specific wants and needs:

Passport Save-The-Dates

I love them. They’re perfect. But they are NOT in my price range. Although they’re beautiful and the designer gives you LOTS of options to customize them, I still think they’re outrageously priced. Plus, they want you to pay a $50 deposit in addition to the cost of the actual save-the-dates. And the cheapest save-the-dates are $3.75—each! Frankly, I can’t afford this at all.

But here are some I found that I got ideas from but definitely wasn’t going to order:

Passport to Romance Save-The-Dates

These just look way too cheesy. I might have considered them if it weren’t for what it says on the front: “Passport to Romance.” Seriously. Gag me with a pitch fork. And if I feel like gagging, then why wouldn’t our guests who receive these want to gag? Plus, I wouldn’t really say Keegan and I are romantic (although I like romantic literature and ballet—not the genre, the time period). So romantic + cheesy = not us.

This is about as romantic as we get. And this was five years ago.

Well, I guess we can look romantic when we want to. Many thanks go to London for the use of this photo!

I’ve seen a lot of save-the-date magnets lately, and I know they’re gaining popularity. But I really like the concept—they’re not going to get lost in someone’s pile of junk mail since they can conveniently stick on the fridge all year ‘round, and it can be a keepsake for the guest. So when I did a Google search for “passport save-the-dates” I ran into this: (by the way, it’s that easy. If you’re looking for something and you’re not quite sure where to find it, all you have to do is type it into Google. You may or may not find what you’re looking for, but it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll get some good ideas if you look long enough.)

Passport To Love Save-The-Date Magnets

These are a good size and a decent price, I think. I did a little research on them and found out that the colors, fonts, and pictures are all customizable, so that’s a plus. And of course you get to add a personal picture, and that’s something I really wanted to include in our save-the-dates.

Passport To Love Save-The-Date Mini Magnet

These are the “mini” version of the same design. We measured them out on a piece of paper and they’re actually really small. And while they don’t exactly look like a passport (do they look like a passport to you?), I like the format (and the pricing) of the smaller magnets better than the larger size. But if I really wanted to make our picture noticeable, I don’t think I could really do that with these since they’re so small.

I also ran into these:

Love Airways Save-The-Date Magnet

I really love this format. And yes, it’s not what I originally wanted, but I think they’re pretty cute. The only problem I have with these is that I think they’re going to make people think we’re having a destination wedding, which we’re not. So I don’t want to give people the wrong idea about the location of our wedding (especially since you don’t normally include the location on the save-the-dates). What do you think? If you got this from a distant relative that you don’t know very well, would you think their wedding was going to be a destination wedding? I honestly could be overanalyzing things, but that’s just what I do (I’m a writer, after all).

So I think these are some major contenders. But unfortunately, I don’t think anything will measure up to the ones I found from that designer on Etsy.

Please, please, please feel free to comment—hearing your opinions on this will help me make a decision (and I need to make one pronto!). If you have any suggestions, questions, or other advice, I’d love to talk with you. Your opinions are always appreciated.

Ideas for next week’s entry:

-Bridal shows

-Cookware/China

-Food

-Invitations

-Paige

Registries--Online or In-person?

You know those cute little Target mailers that advertise what your life as a married couple might look like? If you’re an American bride, you probably know what I’m talking about. As a bride subscribed to Brides magazine and various wedding planning websites (ie The Knot, The Wedding Channel, etc.), I’ve gotten several postcards, leaflets, and brochures in the mail urging me to sign up for a bridal registry. I’m not exactly a fan of my contact information being handed off between different companies that want to sell me stuff, but I must admit that the registry advertising (that I didn’t request) has caught my eye.

Since I’ve started getting these mailers, my subconscious has been nagging me about creating registries at various places. After all, I want enough time for my fiancé and I to envision what our style might be like when we finally move in together and to figure out what kinds of things we need and don’t need as a married couple. And another big thing—we need to give our guests plenty of time to browse our registries and get ideas so that they don’t feel like they’re going shopping for a wedding gift at the last minute (though—I’m sure—there are bound to be those last minute shoppers on any given occasion). So I have to admit that the advertising works—it’s gotten the idea churning in my brain that I need to set up our registries and I need to do it soon.

Realistically, however, I haven’t had enough time to get all that done. But I have started a registry for us at Bed, Bath & Beyond. And just from this one registry, I’ve already learned a lot.

I’ve been to BBB several times, but we started the registry completely online. I did go into a store to talk to a bridal consultant about the benefits of a registry at BBB—namely a no-questions-asked return policy, online wedding planning tools, and high quality products. She gave me a catalog featuring their most popular registry items as a way to get ideas on what we wanted. But she suggested that I come into the store to actually see and feel the products before I added them to our registry. Well…I should have taken her advice while I had more time on my hands.

Don’t get me wrong—doing your registry online is very convenient (especially for college kids like us). But I realized that there are just some things I have to see in person to really know whether or not I actually want it. For example, bed sheets are something I want to feel and touch before I decide I'm interested in a particular brand or make. There are so many different kinds of sheets and various thread counts that it’s not an easy decision to make just by looking online. Towels are like that, too. And in my experience, even dishware looks different online than it does in person. I've been into the store since we started our registry, and when I saw some of the products in person that I had put on the registry, I realized they weren't actually the kinds of things I wanted. I also saw more items that I was interested in from seeing them in person. All that to say, I need to go through and edit/update our registry. (So please don’t search for our registry yet—it’s not finished!)

Credit to Dynamic Graphics, Creatas, and thinkstockphoto.com for the use of this photo.

Anyways, I would suggest going into the store and taking a couple of hours with your partner to explore your options and get a feel for what style fits you best. Even though doing your registry online may be more convenient, it’s more helpful to see and feel the products in person in the actual store.

There are tons of different places that have bridal registries these days. I want to give our guests a lot of options and different price ranges to shop around with, but I think it’s also important to narrow your choices of which places you want to register at. I think having registries at more than five places would get pretty overwhelming for a guest. So we’ve narrowed down our options and we’re thinking about looking into starting registries at:

-Target

-IKEA (if they get one up and running soon…)

-Amazon.com

-Celebrity China*

*This is a cookware and fine china company. Its bridal registry is only available to members who have purchased something from them, but if you’re interested in finding quality cookware, I would suggest looking into them. They are pricey, but if you talk to the sales rep long enough, he or she might give you a better deal. If you want to hear more about our experience with them, or about cookware in general, leave a comment and I’ll add it to my list of entry topics.

Next entry’s topic ideas:

-Bridal shows

-Cookware/China

-Food

-Invitations

Until next time!

-Paige

You Saved My Life Once

Car Chaos UPDATE: Both Keegan and I are currently searching for good, used, cheap cars… I’ll let you know if we have any luck.

And now we continue with our discussion on music.

I want to carry over our theme of internationality from the ceremony to the reception and play all kinds of music from all around the world. There will, of course, be techno songs included since we’re having a dance (Sandstorm is a given). And I’d love to play music from lots of genres (and nationalities) all across the board, including techno, K-pop, J-pop, big band/swing, smooth jazz, alternative, indie, Icelandic, Celtic, and more. 

Credit: "Bagpipe Player under an Archway" from iStockphoto on thinkstockphotos.com

When I went to Japan in '08, some friends and I stumbled upon this lovely Japanese singer. She was quite good, and I decided to capture the moment (I think I even took a video, if I remember correctly).

I want to play music that Keegan and I both love—regardless of our guests’ musical tastes. Their opinions are important to us, of course, but we want to dance to songs that we love, even if the audience doesn’t recognize them. I can’t really imagine myself dancing to stuff like “Don’t Stop Believing” and other mainstream songs I can’t stand. I’ve written a lot of random song ideas down as they come to me, but here’s a sampling of my ideas for the reception:

-I'm God by Clams Casino (techno)

-In The Mood by Glenn Miller (big band/swing)

-Light Outside by Wakey!Wakey! (indie)

-The Suffering by Coheed & Cambria (alternative)

-Morning Dance by Spyro Gyra (smooth jazz)

-Ponponpon by Kyari Pamyu Pamyu (J-pop)

-Sæglópur by Sigur Rós [an edited version to fit the dance] (Icelandic)

-Titanic Set by Gaelic Storm and/or Swallowtail Jig (Celtic)

-Gangnam Style by PSY (K-pop) (<do I really even have to link you to this one? You know you've seen it a thousand times and have it bookmarked on your browser.)

So we want a lot of flavor for our reception, and not just in the food but in the music as well.

I think I would like to include the traditional couples’ dance and the daddy/daughter dance, and I have some ideas on the music for that, too. As I mentioned last week, Titanic is a film that both Keegan and I thoroughly enjoy (Keegan bought the new super-mega-pack edition of the Blu-Ray/DVD). Another one we also love is P.S. I Love You. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it, but I can tell you that I cry every time. Anyways, I also own the film’s gorgeous score, composed by John Powell. The first track on the album is entitled “Make Up Kisses,” and I can imagine Keegan and I slow dancing to this song. You can listen to it here:

Make Up Kisses

As for the daddy/daughter dance, I was considering another soft instrumental tune. But then one day I was listening to my Phil Collins Pandora station (yes, I have a Phil Collins Pandora station), and “You’ll Be in My Heart” started playing. Then I knew that song was the one to dance to with my daddy. Disney’s version of Tarzan is yet another great film, and the soundtrack complements its greatness. Tarzan has a special place in my heart when it comes to thinking about my dad.

When I was seven, before my parents got divorced, we went on a Disney cruise. There were tons of things to do on the ship, and one night, Tarzan was playing in the ship’s movie theatre. So we went—I remember us getting there a little too late because it was already dark and people were flooding the seating and sitting on the aisle’s steps. So we had to sit/stand/move around for the entire movie, but this was a fun memory that stands out when I think about my family pre-divorce days. 

Dad and I also share inside jokes from the movie. They’re not exactly inside jokes I guess, since there’s no particular personal story behind them, but we went through a phase for a long time where Dad would say “Oh, I see” like Jane does in the movie after I would say something somewhat interesting.

Then, of course, there’s the music. “You’ll Be in My Heart” is particularly special to me because I would listen to it whenever I missed my dad after moving to Oklahoma. The song, as well as my dad’s infamous moon analogy, reminded me that we were never too far apart as long as we kept each other in our hearts.

All that to say, I think this would be a really special song to dance to with my father.

If you have any other suggestions as to music for the ceremony and/or reception, please feel free to leave a comment.

Let’s take a vote for next week’s entry!

-Your suggestion: what do you want to hear about?

-Invitations

-Food

-Registries

-Paige

Sing Your Melody

UPDATE from last entry: No word on the guy’s injuries. Insurance issues are crazy. The car situation for both my fiancé and I isn’t looking too great. If you know of any decent, used cars at a good price, please let me know.

Onto an important topic: music.

I come from a long line of top notch musicians (namely my father), and I love music. I’ve played piano for as long as I can remember (although not as diligently these days), and I played viola in orchestra in elementary school, middle school, high school, and one semester of college. Both playing and listening to music are things that I’m passionate about. And although Keegan doesn’t currently play an instrument, he’s just as passionate about the music as I am.

Jamming with my daddy. Thanks go to my step-mom, Lu, for taking this photo.

I'm the one with the red hair

So as you can imagine, I’ve done extensive thinking on this topic.

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ve probably figured out that I’m not exactly a traditional bride. I don’t want a bouquet, I refuse to wear a veil, and there’s no way in heck I’m walking down the aisle to the traditional bridal march. Instead, I have this tune picked out:

The Portrait by James Horner 

I know, I know—it’s Titanic. But still. It’s a great song. And this solo piano version is just beautiful. I know a lot of people think it’s super cheesy, but Keegan and I absolutely love Titanic—I’m not ashamed to admit it. It’s a great film in many ways. It’s also a major cornerstone in the film industry since James Cameron went to great lengths to do things that had never been done before. But, I won’t continue my tangent on that here (maybe I should start a blog dedicated to films..). Let’s get back to the music.

I can envision it now—slowly walking down the aisle in my Vera Wang ball gown, taking in the sight of relatives I never knew I had and the sound of a keyboard changing keys at just the right moment. I’m also considering asking my dad to compose parts for a string quintet to go along with the keyboard solo. I’m not sure if the string parts might be a bit too much/over the top (what do you think?), but I have time to keep thinking about it.

As for the rest of the ceremony, I have tons of ideas. Actually, I have so many ideas that the ceremony may become a non-traditional Protestant ceremony in the sense that it lasts for more than thirty minutes. But here are the songs I have on my mind:

1) The Winter Rush by Some By Sea*

2) Out of the Woods by Nickel Creek$

3) Wake Up by Coheed & Cambria%

4) Falling Slowly by The Swell Season#

* This was probably me and Keegan’s first song together. I’m not sure if the lyrics make much sense for a wedding, but me and my dad can play with them and make it work. It’s just a beautiful song and reminds me so much of the first few months of my relationship with Keegan. Plus, there’s a cello solo that I think would be perfect to include if I do get a hold of a string quintet.

$ I have this daydream where I’m with the one I love in a grove of trees and the outside world can’t reach or hurt us. When I imagine this scene, sometimes the ground will be buried in snow, and other times the trees become a canopy from the rain that pours overhead. I’m not really sure where this daydream came from—probably all those long trips going back and forth between Oklahoma and Kansas and looking outside the car's window at all the trees—but this song reminds me of my daydream.

% For anyone who knows us, this one’s obvious. Coheed & Cambria is me and Keegan’s all-time favorite band. We’ve been to their shows every chance we get (there’s one coming up on the 23^rd! Can’t wait!), and we love the stories behind the music. This song is no exception, and although we’ll probably have to change the wording a tad, this song is one we have to include for sure.

Me and Keegan with Claudio Sanchez of Coheed & Cambria

 # I’m not sure if this is The Swell Season song I want to do for sure, but at the request of Keegan’s sister—London—who is an amazing, talented singer, we want to do a Swell Season song that London can sing to. Falling Slowly would go great with string parts and my dad’s and London’s voices, but I’m not sure if the lyrics really fit me and Keegan. It’s a beautiful song, and one of my favorites, but it just seems a little too sad to be a part of a wedding celebration. Oh well, I’ll think on it.

So there you have it—those are my ideas for the wedding ceremony.

Next week, I’ll continue my discussion on music with ideas for the reception. I could talk about music all day long, but I’m sure you have more important things to do than read my blog.

Feel free to join in the discussion on music—suggest a song, send me a link to a YouTube video, etc. I appreciate your input.

-Paige

Easier Said Than Done

So, I’m going to dedicate this week’s entry to my worries. If you know me, you already know I’m a worry-wart. I think way too much about things, I overanalyze everything, and I worry about anything. I’m worrying about what you’re going to think of me writing about my worries--that’s how much I worry.

You know how when you start thinking about a word too much, it sounds kinda funny after a while? I think I just got to that point.

Anyway, I’m worried about a lot of things right now. My life has been snowballing into events that are out of my control and that are about to drive me crazy. There are plenty to mention, but the ones I’m going to mention will be kept related to marriage. One thing that really gets me hyped up right now is money. Who isn’t worried about money? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

Credit to Creatas and thinkstockphoto.com for the use of this photo

If you read my last post (my how-to article), I have some sad news for you: I’m a hypocrite.

I did believe every word I wrote in my article, but am I doing some of the things I suggested other brides should be doing? No. My fiancé and I haven’t even finished our budget yet (I’m hoping to get to that this weekend). I’ve fallen victim to my own self-fulfilling prophecy, in a backwards way. I stressed the importance of creating a budget, yet I haven’t even created my own. So as a preface to this ranting entry, I will warn you that everything I’m about to say is probably counterintuitive to what I said in my how-to article.

So back to money.

For you to get the gist of why I’ve become so worried about this, I’ll explain to you what just happened to my fiancé recently. Last weekend, a motorcycle crashed into my fiancé’s parked car. Thankfully, Keegan wasn’t in the car at the time. But unfortunately, the guy who was driving the motorcycle crashed into it pretty hard and was sent to the hospital for a head injury. No word on how he’s doing, but Keegan’s car is pretty much gone. It’s looking like Keegan might have to purchase another car, which means that, since we’re getting married soon and my car’s falling apart as well, this is a decision we may need to make together. It also means that this is a decision that could cost us a lot of money, depending on what we decide to do.

To make matters worse, my car is up for a heater core operation. I’ve had this done before and it usually costs over $1,000. To be honest, that may be half the worth of my car. So I’m not sure if it’s worth it. But if I keep the car, the heater core will have to be put in since winter’s soon approaching. But if I don’t keep the car, well…. I’ll still need a car next semester, or some way to get to school/work/etc.

So my head is spinning. I’ve been imagining how many bills we’ll have as a married couple: rent, utilities, insurance, internet, etc. And to add one or two car payments to that? On my part-time salary, and who knows what Keegan’s going to make? Not to mention the fact that we still have a wedding and honeymoon to pay for.

I hope you can see why I’m worried.

Credit to George Doyle and thinkstockphoto.com for the use of this photo

I’m on the brink of adulthood and I’m not sure if I know how to be an adult yet. I wish there were some kind of set practice/transition phase.

I’ve been reading a book that my mom gave me called Now You're Speaking My Language by Gary Chapman. It’s a book about communication in marriage. Some of it’s helpful, some of it I completely disagree with. But overall the message has been to communicate clearly your needs, wants, priorities, feelings, thoughts, etc. to your partner. That’s the watered down summary of how much I’ve read, anyway. I’m not sure if there’s a section on finance/money in the book, but I would imagine the same rules of communication the author establishes would work for a talk about finances. So if Keegan and I clearly communicate our thoughts about money, and sit down and work things out, it should all be okay, right?

But I feel like it’s not that simple. But then again, I worry too much.

If you are a wise adult and would like to provide advice, please feel free to do so. If you are my age and are going through similar worries, please let me know so I don’t feel like it’s just me.

I think we all need to know we’re not alone—right?

Next entry suggestions:

-Invitations

-Food

-Music

-Your suggestion

-Paige

How to Plan a Wedding during College

Are you getting married soon? Are you managing a full load of coursework, a part-time job, and planning your wedding? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the article for you.

           

I’m a college student getting married next summer. I’m taking 16 hours of course credit, and I have a part-time job. I also happen to be planning my wedding. It’s true--things can get crazy fast, but if you follow my tips for planning a wedding while you’re in school, you’ll be a little less stressed by the time you finish reading this.

           

To plan your wedding, you’ll need:

• a loving partner who understands you
• family and friends who will help you
• faith that things will get done and it will be okay
• time to slow down (it seems counterintuitive, I know. But trust me--it’s important)

Follow these steps to transform your ideas into reality:

1) Take a deep breath. Slow down. Don’t stress too much. I know, I know--it’s easier said than done. But it’s important not to think too much about everything that’s going on in your life. Just inhale and exhale and you’ll be fine. Remember to make time for yourself even if it seems impossible--read a novel during your lunch break or eat a chocolate chip cookie when you get home from class. Enjoy the little things--it helps more than I can say.

2) Make a to-do list. There are all sorts of ready-made lists on the Internet--just Google it. Make sure to write anything and everything down. It’s important to keep track of your ideas, money spent (keep your receipts!), etc.

Keep a binder and label your tabs

3) Get the big things done first. Shop for your dress, make your guest list, create a budget, find your venue, and choose your caterer. Give yourself enough time to get these things done, but I would suggest getting these things done first so you don’t have to stress out about them in the long run.

4) I can’t stress enough the process of budgeting. Have a sit-down conversation with your partner to see how much each of you is willing to spend. Sit down with each of your parents and ask them if they would like to contribute. Get everything in writing--if you don’t have a number written down that you’ve committed to, you’ll start spending without an idea of what you can’t spend. Before you know it, you’ll have already spent over your budget. And since we’re college students, you and I both know money’s tight--budgeting is extremely important for us starving college kids.

5) Focus on one thing at a time. If you think about every little thing you have to get done, it’ll snowball. Make sure you focus your attention on one thing at a time so that way it actually will get done. And if you’re getting one thing done at a time in a timely manner, it’ll all be done before you know it.

6) If your schedule during the week is just too crazy, cross some things off your list during the weekends or on your lunch break. If you’re starting to get stressed, don’t plan during your lunch break even if you feel like you’re never going to get anything done--take a real break and relax. Nothing’s going to get done if you’re stressed all the time.

7) If you have a chance to go to a bridal show near you, I would suggest going (if the ticket prices are reasonable). At these events, you have lots of chances to get free stuff. You can also network to meet your potential photographer (I met mine at a bridal show!), caterer, etc. Some vendors also offer discounts if you decide to book with them on the day of the bridal show. 

My maid of honor and I at a bridal show

8) Take advantage of anything free! Use your resources and connections. If your fiancé’s sister is a great photographer, have her take your engagement photos. If you have ministers in the family, allow them the honor of officiating your ceremony. Also, there are tons of discounts available for college students. At my university, people are passing out coupon books all the time around campus. Don’t just throw these away--look through them and you might find a coupon to a local bridal shop or caterer. Also, if your university rents out rooms or has a catering service, you may be able to use your student discount on these services. Ask, and you just might receive!

9) If your mom asks you if she can do anything to help, indulge her. Take a look at your list and see if she can inquire about anything you’re interested in around town while you’re in class. If your maid of honor wants to do something for you, take her up on the offer. Have her shop around online for photographers or cake ideas. The moral of the story: take advantage of free help.

10) Remember that the people who are helping you aren’t just here to help you find your perfect dress or the right reception venue--they also care about you and want to help you emotionally. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in. Lean on your maid of honor’s shoulder. Vent to your mom. Remember, it’ll be okay.

11) Avoid unnecessary drama. There’s plenty of this to go around during the wedding planning process, but if you can help it, don’t get involved. If there’s a situation that calls for intervention, ask your maid of honor if she’ll help. Don’t add to your plate by stressing over how your mom wants your long lost cousins to come to the wedding but you really don’t want them to. Just talk it through with your mom. If you need moral support, bring your maid of honor along.

12) Do your best in school, but remember that your marriage is a life-long commitment. Yes, you’re getting a degree that may or may not help you reach your career aspirations, but you’re not going to be in college forever. Your marriage, on the other hand, is something that should last forever. Remember to focus on what’s most important to you. I care about my grades more than the average college student, but I care about my fiancé even more. If that means I have to skip a study session to go to his scholarship ceremony, then I’m skipping a study session.

13) Use this time to really connect with your partner and get to know him or her even more. You’ll probably learn a lot about your partner that you never realized. Don’t freak out--you still know this person you’re committing your life to. This is just a new phase of life that will bring new problems and new possibilities. Be understanding of your partner and remember why you’re getting married in the first place.

14) Enjoy being engaged.

           

If you’re a college kid getting married (and I assume you are since you’re still reading this), follow my advice and you won’t get so lost in all the wedding planning drama. Don’t get bogged down in all the little details and don’t think about it too hard. Remember the key points I suggested:

• Don’t get stressed--relax and slow down
• Focus on one thing at a time
• Enjoy this time with your partner

Just breathe. Remember that it’s all going to be okay and that things will get done. And don’t forget about the most important part of this process: you’re the lucky person who gets to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.