Holiday Hiatus

In honor of the upcoming winter break (and finals!), I’ll be taking a short hiatus from blogging. But I plan to be back in January to continue writing about my journey through the world of wedding planning.

We’re about to pass the six months mark, and I’m not sure where all that time went. June 15^th will be here before we know it! Because of that, we’re planning on getting a lot done during the break. So if any good stories surface from that, I’ll try to blog about them when I can.

Thanks for reading! I’ll be back soon.

Happy Holidays!

-Paige

Easier Said Than Done

So, I’m going to dedicate this week’s entry to my worries. If you know me, you already know I’m a worry-wart. I think way too much about things, I overanalyze everything, and I worry about anything. I’m worrying about what you’re going to think of me writing about my worries--that’s how much I worry.

You know how when you start thinking about a word too much, it sounds kinda funny after a while? I think I just got to that point.

Anyway, I’m worried about a lot of things right now. My life has been snowballing into events that are out of my control and that are about to drive me crazy. There are plenty to mention, but the ones I’m going to mention will be kept related to marriage. One thing that really gets me hyped up right now is money. Who isn’t worried about money? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

Credit to Creatas and thinkstockphoto.com for the use of this photo

If you read my last post (my how-to article), I have some sad news for you: I’m a hypocrite.

I did believe every word I wrote in my article, but am I doing some of the things I suggested other brides should be doing? No. My fiancé and I haven’t even finished our budget yet (I’m hoping to get to that this weekend). I’ve fallen victim to my own self-fulfilling prophecy, in a backwards way. I stressed the importance of creating a budget, yet I haven’t even created my own. So as a preface to this ranting entry, I will warn you that everything I’m about to say is probably counterintuitive to what I said in my how-to article.

So back to money.

For you to get the gist of why I’ve become so worried about this, I’ll explain to you what just happened to my fiancé recently. Last weekend, a motorcycle crashed into my fiancé’s parked car. Thankfully, Keegan wasn’t in the car at the time. But unfortunately, the guy who was driving the motorcycle crashed into it pretty hard and was sent to the hospital for a head injury. No word on how he’s doing, but Keegan’s car is pretty much gone. It’s looking like Keegan might have to purchase another car, which means that, since we’re getting married soon and my car’s falling apart as well, this is a decision we may need to make together. It also means that this is a decision that could cost us a lot of money, depending on what we decide to do.

To make matters worse, my car is up for a heater core operation. I’ve had this done before and it usually costs over $1,000. To be honest, that may be half the worth of my car. So I’m not sure if it’s worth it. But if I keep the car, the heater core will have to be put in since winter’s soon approaching. But if I don’t keep the car, well…. I’ll still need a car next semester, or some way to get to school/work/etc.

So my head is spinning. I’ve been imagining how many bills we’ll have as a married couple: rent, utilities, insurance, internet, etc. And to add one or two car payments to that? On my part-time salary, and who knows what Keegan’s going to make? Not to mention the fact that we still have a wedding and honeymoon to pay for.

I hope you can see why I’m worried.

Credit to George Doyle and thinkstockphoto.com for the use of this photo

I’m on the brink of adulthood and I’m not sure if I know how to be an adult yet. I wish there were some kind of set practice/transition phase.

I’ve been reading a book that my mom gave me called Now You're Speaking My Language by Gary Chapman. It’s a book about communication in marriage. Some of it’s helpful, some of it I completely disagree with. But overall the message has been to communicate clearly your needs, wants, priorities, feelings, thoughts, etc. to your partner. That’s the watered down summary of how much I’ve read, anyway. I’m not sure if there’s a section on finance/money in the book, but I would imagine the same rules of communication the author establishes would work for a talk about finances. So if Keegan and I clearly communicate our thoughts about money, and sit down and work things out, it should all be okay, right?

But I feel like it’s not that simple. But then again, I worry too much.

If you are a wise adult and would like to provide advice, please feel free to do so. If you are my age and are going through similar worries, please let me know so I don’t feel like it’s just me.

I think we all need to know we’re not alone—right?

Next entry suggestions:

-Invitations

-Food

-Music

-Your suggestion

-Paige

How to Plan a Wedding during College

Are you getting married soon? Are you managing a full load of coursework, a part-time job, and planning your wedding? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the article for you.

           

I’m a college student getting married next summer. I’m taking 16 hours of course credit, and I have a part-time job. I also happen to be planning my wedding. It’s true--things can get crazy fast, but if you follow my tips for planning a wedding while you’re in school, you’ll be a little less stressed by the time you finish reading this.

           

To plan your wedding, you’ll need:

• a loving partner who understands you
• family and friends who will help you
• faith that things will get done and it will be okay
• time to slow down (it seems counterintuitive, I know. But trust me--it’s important)

Follow these steps to transform your ideas into reality:

1) Take a deep breath. Slow down. Don’t stress too much. I know, I know--it’s easier said than done. But it’s important not to think too much about everything that’s going on in your life. Just inhale and exhale and you’ll be fine. Remember to make time for yourself even if it seems impossible--read a novel during your lunch break or eat a chocolate chip cookie when you get home from class. Enjoy the little things--it helps more than I can say.

2) Make a to-do list. There are all sorts of ready-made lists on the Internet--just Google it. Make sure to write anything and everything down. It’s important to keep track of your ideas, money spent (keep your receipts!), etc.

Keep a binder and label your tabs

3) Get the big things done first. Shop for your dress, make your guest list, create a budget, find your venue, and choose your caterer. Give yourself enough time to get these things done, but I would suggest getting these things done first so you don’t have to stress out about them in the long run.

4) I can’t stress enough the process of budgeting. Have a sit-down conversation with your partner to see how much each of you is willing to spend. Sit down with each of your parents and ask them if they would like to contribute. Get everything in writing--if you don’t have a number written down that you’ve committed to, you’ll start spending without an idea of what you can’t spend. Before you know it, you’ll have already spent over your budget. And since we’re college students, you and I both know money’s tight--budgeting is extremely important for us starving college kids.

5) Focus on one thing at a time. If you think about every little thing you have to get done, it’ll snowball. Make sure you focus your attention on one thing at a time so that way it actually will get done. And if you’re getting one thing done at a time in a timely manner, it’ll all be done before you know it.

6) If your schedule during the week is just too crazy, cross some things off your list during the weekends or on your lunch break. If you’re starting to get stressed, don’t plan during your lunch break even if you feel like you’re never going to get anything done--take a real break and relax. Nothing’s going to get done if you’re stressed all the time.

7) If you have a chance to go to a bridal show near you, I would suggest going (if the ticket prices are reasonable). At these events, you have lots of chances to get free stuff. You can also network to meet your potential photographer (I met mine at a bridal show!), caterer, etc. Some vendors also offer discounts if you decide to book with them on the day of the bridal show. 

My maid of honor and I at a bridal show

8) Take advantage of anything free! Use your resources and connections. If your fiancé’s sister is a great photographer, have her take your engagement photos. If you have ministers in the family, allow them the honor of officiating your ceremony. Also, there are tons of discounts available for college students. At my university, people are passing out coupon books all the time around campus. Don’t just throw these away--look through them and you might find a coupon to a local bridal shop or caterer. Also, if your university rents out rooms or has a catering service, you may be able to use your student discount on these services. Ask, and you just might receive!

9) If your mom asks you if she can do anything to help, indulge her. Take a look at your list and see if she can inquire about anything you’re interested in around town while you’re in class. If your maid of honor wants to do something for you, take her up on the offer. Have her shop around online for photographers or cake ideas. The moral of the story: take advantage of free help.

10) Remember that the people who are helping you aren’t just here to help you find your perfect dress or the right reception venue--they also care about you and want to help you emotionally. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in. Lean on your maid of honor’s shoulder. Vent to your mom. Remember, it’ll be okay.

11) Avoid unnecessary drama. There’s plenty of this to go around during the wedding planning process, but if you can help it, don’t get involved. If there’s a situation that calls for intervention, ask your maid of honor if she’ll help. Don’t add to your plate by stressing over how your mom wants your long lost cousins to come to the wedding but you really don’t want them to. Just talk it through with your mom. If you need moral support, bring your maid of honor along.

12) Do your best in school, but remember that your marriage is a life-long commitment. Yes, you’re getting a degree that may or may not help you reach your career aspirations, but you’re not going to be in college forever. Your marriage, on the other hand, is something that should last forever. Remember to focus on what’s most important to you. I care about my grades more than the average college student, but I care about my fiancé even more. If that means I have to skip a study session to go to his scholarship ceremony, then I’m skipping a study session.

13) Use this time to really connect with your partner and get to know him or her even more. You’ll probably learn a lot about your partner that you never realized. Don’t freak out--you still know this person you’re committing your life to. This is just a new phase of life that will bring new problems and new possibilities. Be understanding of your partner and remember why you’re getting married in the first place.

14) Enjoy being engaged.

           

If you’re a college kid getting married (and I assume you are since you’re still reading this), follow my advice and you won’t get so lost in all the wedding planning drama. Don’t get bogged down in all the little details and don’t think about it too hard. Remember the key points I suggested:

• Don’t get stressed--relax and slow down
• Focus on one thing at a time
• Enjoy this time with your partner

Just breathe. Remember that it’s all going to be okay and that things will get done. And don’t forget about the most important part of this process: you’re the lucky person who gets to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.