How to Plan a Wedding during College

Are you getting married soon? Are you managing a full load of coursework, a part-time job, and planning your wedding? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the article for you.

           

I’m a college student getting married next summer. I’m taking 16 hours of course credit, and I have a part-time job. I also happen to be planning my wedding. It’s true--things can get crazy fast, but if you follow my tips for planning a wedding while you’re in school, you’ll be a little less stressed by the time you finish reading this.

           

To plan your wedding, you’ll need:

• a loving partner who understands you
• family and friends who will help you
• faith that things will get done and it will be okay
• time to slow down (it seems counterintuitive, I know. But trust me--it’s important)

Follow these steps to transform your ideas into reality:

1) Take a deep breath. Slow down. Don’t stress too much. I know, I know--it’s easier said than done. But it’s important not to think too much about everything that’s going on in your life. Just inhale and exhale and you’ll be fine. Remember to make time for yourself even if it seems impossible--read a novel during your lunch break or eat a chocolate chip cookie when you get home from class. Enjoy the little things--it helps more than I can say.

2) Make a to-do list. There are all sorts of ready-made lists on the Internet--just Google it. Make sure to write anything and everything down. It’s important to keep track of your ideas, money spent (keep your receipts!), etc.

Keep a binder and label your tabs

3) Get the big things done first. Shop for your dress, make your guest list, create a budget, find your venue, and choose your caterer. Give yourself enough time to get these things done, but I would suggest getting these things done first so you don’t have to stress out about them in the long run.

4) I can’t stress enough the process of budgeting. Have a sit-down conversation with your partner to see how much each of you is willing to spend. Sit down with each of your parents and ask them if they would like to contribute. Get everything in writing--if you don’t have a number written down that you’ve committed to, you’ll start spending without an idea of what you can’t spend. Before you know it, you’ll have already spent over your budget. And since we’re college students, you and I both know money’s tight--budgeting is extremely important for us starving college kids.

5) Focus on one thing at a time. If you think about every little thing you have to get done, it’ll snowball. Make sure you focus your attention on one thing at a time so that way it actually will get done. And if you’re getting one thing done at a time in a timely manner, it’ll all be done before you know it.

6) If your schedule during the week is just too crazy, cross some things off your list during the weekends or on your lunch break. If you’re starting to get stressed, don’t plan during your lunch break even if you feel like you’re never going to get anything done--take a real break and relax. Nothing’s going to get done if you’re stressed all the time.

7) If you have a chance to go to a bridal show near you, I would suggest going (if the ticket prices are reasonable). At these events, you have lots of chances to get free stuff. You can also network to meet your potential photographer (I met mine at a bridal show!), caterer, etc. Some vendors also offer discounts if you decide to book with them on the day of the bridal show. 

My maid of honor and I at a bridal show

8) Take advantage of anything free! Use your resources and connections. If your fiancé’s sister is a great photographer, have her take your engagement photos. If you have ministers in the family, allow them the honor of officiating your ceremony. Also, there are tons of discounts available for college students. At my university, people are passing out coupon books all the time around campus. Don’t just throw these away--look through them and you might find a coupon to a local bridal shop or caterer. Also, if your university rents out rooms or has a catering service, you may be able to use your student discount on these services. Ask, and you just might receive!

9) If your mom asks you if she can do anything to help, indulge her. Take a look at your list and see if she can inquire about anything you’re interested in around town while you’re in class. If your maid of honor wants to do something for you, take her up on the offer. Have her shop around online for photographers or cake ideas. The moral of the story: take advantage of free help.

10) Remember that the people who are helping you aren’t just here to help you find your perfect dress or the right reception venue--they also care about you and want to help you emotionally. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in. Lean on your maid of honor’s shoulder. Vent to your mom. Remember, it’ll be okay.

11) Avoid unnecessary drama. There’s plenty of this to go around during the wedding planning process, but if you can help it, don’t get involved. If there’s a situation that calls for intervention, ask your maid of honor if she’ll help. Don’t add to your plate by stressing over how your mom wants your long lost cousins to come to the wedding but you really don’t want them to. Just talk it through with your mom. If you need moral support, bring your maid of honor along.

12) Do your best in school, but remember that your marriage is a life-long commitment. Yes, you’re getting a degree that may or may not help you reach your career aspirations, but you’re not going to be in college forever. Your marriage, on the other hand, is something that should last forever. Remember to focus on what’s most important to you. I care about my grades more than the average college student, but I care about my fiancé even more. If that means I have to skip a study session to go to his scholarship ceremony, then I’m skipping a study session.

13) Use this time to really connect with your partner and get to know him or her even more. You’ll probably learn a lot about your partner that you never realized. Don’t freak out--you still know this person you’re committing your life to. This is just a new phase of life that will bring new problems and new possibilities. Be understanding of your partner and remember why you’re getting married in the first place.

14) Enjoy being engaged.

           

If you’re a college kid getting married (and I assume you are since you’re still reading this), follow my advice and you won’t get so lost in all the wedding planning drama. Don’t get bogged down in all the little details and don’t think about it too hard. Remember the key points I suggested:

• Don’t get stressed--relax and slow down
• Focus on one thing at a time
• Enjoy this time with your partner

Just breathe. Remember that it’s all going to be okay and that things will get done. And don’t forget about the most important part of this process: you’re the lucky person who gets to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.

Pictures of You

UPDATE (from last entry):
I bought the fan I showed you from Amazon.com! Not only was it a great price ($13.50—and I have Amazon Prime, so I got free shipping), it also turned out to be a good size and very pretty. The details and coloring of the bamboo and dragonflies are just beautiful. The wood paneling is also a nice touch. The only thing that concerns me right now is the fact that it’s pretty stiff since it hasn’t been opened all that much—it’s hard to get it to stay in place once you open it. But I’m sure if I keep using it and breaking it in, it’ll probably open and stay in place on the wedding day without a problem. 

You can't really tell from this photo, but the coloring of the actual fan material is silver-ish. I haven't tried it on with my dress yet--I need to do that pronto--but I'll let you know how it goes (maybe in next week's entry!).

Now, onto another important topic: Photography.

This is an extremely important part of the wedding for me. I want the story we tell on our wedding day to be captured by someone I can trust. Not only do I want the pictures to be gorgeous, creative, etc., I also want to have a good feel for who’s going to be taking those photos. After all, I’m trusting the photographer with one of the most important days of my life. I’m trusting them to get the job done right, and to do it well.

Well, I’ve found that person I can trust. And her name is Jessica Pearl.

When my mother, Sarah (BF/MOH), and I went to this summer’s bridal show in OKC, we happened to walk by Jessica’s booth. I saw one photograph, then her prices, and I knew she was the right fit for us. The photo I saw that I immediately fell in love with was this one:

Jessica Pearl took this gorgeous photo. Many thanks to Jessica for permission to use her photo here.

I think Jessica is extremely talented, and her prices are so much more reasonable than a lot of other photographers out there. I met with her last weekend and discovered that she’s a sweet person and fun to talk with. She’s easy-going and flexible with your photography wants and needs. I’d recommend her to any bride, but especially those with a tight budget. To look through more of her work and her packages/pricings, take a look at her website:

Jessica Pearl Photography 

If you’re on facebook, here’s a link to Jessica’s facebook page:

Jessica's Facebook Page 

Photos have always been important to me. Anytime I go anywhere or do anything special, I load up my camera with batteries, make sure I have my USB cord in case I need to dump some pictures to allow for extra space, and capture the moment any chance I get. I got my first real camera for my first trip to Hawaii during the summer after my 8^th grade year. I was ecstatic that we found my Canon PowerShot A640 for a good price on Ebay.com. My dad took advantage of the opportunity, and I’ve been loyally using Canons ever since. I actually still use this camera—it’s lasted me five years and is still in good condition. And I got it used, so who knows how long it’s actually lasted. But all that to say, photography is near and dear to my heart. And that’s why I wanted someone talented and trustworthy to beautifully memorialize a day that I want to remember for the rest of my life. And thanks to Jessica, I know I will.

Vote for the next entry:

-Food

-Invitations

-Music

-My thoughts on marriage-related issues

-Paige  

P.S. - Apologies for not being so poetic/concise/etc. in my writing tonight. I had a math exam earlier this evening that kind of fried my brain. 

Flowers Aren't Always A Girl's Best Friend

 

Here’s the thing about me and flowers: we don’t exactly get along.

I know, I know—“everyone” loves flowers. Well, I guess I don’t belong to that club called “everyone.” Sure, there are a few flowers that don’t bother me, like orchids and Japanese cherry blossoms, but I just don’t see the point in flowers. I don’t want a rose for Valentine’s Day (plus, I think V-Day is overrated—but that’s another story). I usually feel neutral about flowers if I get them after some kind of performance, like orchestra concerts or viola recitals. And I don’t want to carry a bouquet of flowers down the aisle.

Period.

Oh, and to answer your question: no, there won’t be a traditional bouquet toss at the wedding.

Hopefully I haven’t offended any of my dear readers (if there are any) with my bold opinions against flowers. Well, I’m not really against them. I’m just not…for them, I guess. Anyways, if you’re still reading up to this point, please stick around! I may not be a fan of flowers, but I am a fan of…well, fans…

Here’s my big idea for a bouquet alternative. You already know how much I love anything Asian, so I’ve decided that I want to walk down the aisle with an Asian-style folding fan. I haven’t really decided on the color yet, or what kind of design, etc. but I was thinking something along the lines of this:

I found this in Hong Kong and bought it for my mom as a souvenir.

But I was also thinking I could somehow include flowers with my fan. If I got a fan like the one pictured above, I guess I could hot glue small, individual flowers (not sure what kind—any suggestions?) to the fan. I wouldn’t want so many flowers that it overwhelmed the beauty of the fan itself, but maybe three or four (probably not four—that signifies bad luck in some Asian cultures) to enhance the beauty that’s already there.

If I chose a fan made with some kind of looser material (lace?), I could insert the flowers between the wooden slats of the fan. Or, I could insert the flowers between the wooden slats toward the bottom of the fan. I’m not really sure how to describe this, so I thought I would draw a picture to help you visualize what I’m imagining. Please forgive my crude drawing skills.

I don’t know—something like that. 

I also had the random idea that I could use origami flowers instead of real flowers. I love doing origami—the art of folding paper—and I thought this DIY idea would be a fun endeavor. I could use the origami flowers on the fan as well, but I'm not sure if it would look as pretty and seamless as it would with real flowers.

Or maybe, just maybe, I would be okay with just a fan. Instead of using flowers, I could tie a long silk ribbon to the fan that would hang down in front of my dress and perhaps even compliment it.

Also, here’s a link to a fan I found on Amazon.com that I’m in love with:

Japanese Silk Handheld Fan

Instead of bouquets for my bridesmaids, I was also thinking I could trade out the flowers for Asian-style parasols, kind of like this one:

 But maybe that would be too distracting from the ceremony? I’m not sure.

One last thing you flower-y people might enjoy: my mom did purchase some fake flowers on sale at Garden Ridge. She got a whole bunch of stuff for only $18. We were both excited about the sale, so we decided to take advantage of it while we could. I’m honestly not sure what we’re going to do with them yet, but we were considering using them on tables for centerpieces at the reception, or something of the sort. 

If you have any comments on this, or any ideas you’d like to suggest, please let me know. Obviously, I’m in the beginning stages of sketching out my ideas before they become reality. I need all the extra ideas and help I can get.

Ideas for next entry (vote if you wish):
-Music

-Invitations

-Photography

-My thoughts on marriage-related issues (be honest: do you really want to hear about this from me, or should I strictly stick to wedding to-dos?)

-Paige

The Moral of the Story: Internationality

As some of you may know, my fiancé and I both love stories. From Titanic to Watchmen (the graphic novel and the film), we have a passion for relatable characters in provocative situations.  There is almost always a theme, or a major point, or a moral to a story that its writers want to drive home. Take Titanic, for example—this classic tale features a theme of undying love (no pun intended, of course). This love is something that both characters—Jack and Rose—strongly believe in. As the story progresses, it’s clear that this love becomes integrated into their morals.

Keegan and his beloved Dr. Manhattan figure. Credit to Keegan for this photo.

And I’ve been thinking, since Keegan and I love stories, why should our wedding be any different than a story? I want our wedding to be something special. I want it to express our beliefs, our interests, our passions, and above all—I want it to tell our story.

So what will the moral of our story be?

Apart from the obvious answer (i.e. love), we’ve decided to go with an international/travel theme.

Why?

1) Keegan and I both believe in diversity and expressing oneself through one’s heritage. We also love traveling and have a passion for other cultures. Keegan’s been to Mexico (thrice), Ireland, Northern Ireland (U.K.), and Canada. He loves Mexican food and is very interested in Latino culture. I’ve been to Mexico, China, and Japan (and South Korea if you count two layovers in the Seoul airport. Oh, and Hong Kong, if you count that separate from China). Mexican food makes my stomach churn, but I love learning languages—including Spanish, Japanese, and Mandarin Chinese. (I also want to learn Korean, Irish, and lots of others!)

2) We needed to find a way to incorporate our wide range of interests. We’re truly an “opposites-attract” couple, so we usually love whatever the other dislikes and dislike whatever the other loves. Go figure. So how could we combine my obsession with Asian culture with his cravings for Mexican food? Questions like these prompted us to think of a “theme” that would incorporate all of our interests so that our wedding wouldn’t seem like some random combination of enchiladas/sushi/Asian decorations/Irish colors.

3) Internationality (yes, I'm aware that this is not a proper word. But I love it anyway!) is so special, so unique. It’s becoming increasingly important in our society. And I just think reaching out and making an effort to connect with someone you’re different from can be a life-changing experience for both parties. Plus, you may find you’re not so different from that person after all.

Keegan in Mexico. Credit to Keegan for this photo.

Me in Hong Kong. 

So our international theme will encompass every aspect of the wedding—from the save-the-dates to the cake, I have ideas for each element that will make our wedding special. Here’s a sneak-peak on some of my international ideas:

·      Save-the-dates: a layout setup in the form of a passport

·      Food: Mexican food for Keegan, Asian for me, and Italian to complement both of our tastes

·      Colors: Clover, ivory, and tangerine = the Irish flag

·      Music: from all around the world, of course

·      Decorations: Asian-style paper lanterns, as one example

·      Cake: I have lots of ideas on this one, but I’m thinking about a few layers with Japanese cherry blossoms climbing up the side of the cake

I’m sure there will be lots of characters, settings, and arcs involved in the story we tell on our wedding day. And even though I may not know all the details yet, I do know the moral of the story: internationality. 

Shall we attempt another vote for the next entry? (Please leave comments or contact me with feedback.)

1) Invitations

2) Colors

3) Your Suggestion – what wedding-related issue do you want me to write about?

  

-Paige

First Things First: The Dress

To start things off, I’ll introduce myself. My name’s Paige, and I’m getting married next summer! June 15^th, to be exact. My fiancé, Keegan, and I are ecstatic to begin a new phase of our lives together. But while I’m excited about the planning process, I’m also a little anxious about it because Keegan and I are both college students. He’s graduating this May, but lots of advanced chemistry classes and three jobs for him, and a full load of classes and work for me is going to make the wedding planning process, well… interesting.

But! I think we’re off to a good start. During this past summer, I took a trip to David’s Bridal with my mom and best friend/maid of honor. I succeeded in the quest to find the dress (I said yes to the dress!), and we also picked out a bridesmaids’ dress while we were there. 

My dress is White by Vera Wang. It’s a tulle ball gown with a corded lace bodice. First of all, I’m thrilled to be wearing something by Vera. Second of all, it’s something I could afford! I was lucky enough to get this dress on sale—the first time Vera has ever allowed her gowns to go on sale, I was told by my consultant. I’m obsessed with tulle, so, naturally, I fell in love with this dress. The many layers of tulle flow beautifully. What I love about the layers is that they aren’t perfectly cut and uniform. They’re kind of abstract and just fall in place wherever they want to. I was kind of surprised at how great the dress fits me. I’m super short—5’2 ½”—so I was worried that I would drown in all the tulle. But I didn’t! The dress conforms to my body shape, and with a pair of heels, it looks stunning. The bodice’s back is another one of my favorite features. It still zips up, but vintage-style buttons line the back of the bodice. When I went dress shopping, the buttons were a must-have on my list of dress features.

The Dress Conclusion: It’s perfect, and I couldn’t ask for more. 

Sarah in her bridesmaids' dress

My maid of honor, Sarah, looks beautiful in her dress, and we knew it would be the right fit for everyone—I have five bridesmaids, including Sarah. The girls are all different shapes and sizes, so it was great to find a dress that flatters each girl’s figure. The dress is made of chiffon, so it makes the layers at the end of the dress look very flow-y. I’m sure it’ll look great when we’re all dancing, too!

As far as the David’s Bridal experience goes, it’s pretty awesome.

Pros: I had a wonderful consultant. She was honest with me, showed me the styles I liked (and didn’t like), and comforted me when I had a mini crisis (long story—maybe I’ll save that for another time). I did go on a Saturday, however. So if you’re more comfortable with a less crowded atmosphere, I would suggest that you make your appointment during a weekday. Every staff member I’ve met at David’s Bridal has been very helpful and upfront with me. I would say DB gowns range in price from $100-$2,000. I like DB because of this—it’s more likely that every bride can find something she loves for a price she’s comfortable with. The store’s also pretty big, so they have a wide selection of gowns, styles, and sizes. The designers they carry include Vera Wang, Oleg Cassini, and Galina. They also have David’s Bridal designs that usually tend to be less expensive than the designer gowns.

Cons: The only drawback I noticed was the pricing on accessories like tiaras, sashes, and shoes. I tried on several tiaras while I was there (I refuse to wear a veil), and when I got to the cash register, I decided not to buy the tiara because it was quite pricey. I don’t remember the exact price, but if I remember correctly, it was over $100. So I would suggest saving your money and finding accessories at other, more affordable places like Amazon.com or Michaels (yes, Michaels has tiaras—they’re too cheap-looking for me, but if you’re on a super tight budget, they’re much more affordable than at DB).

DB Conclusion: I would recommend it to any bride—no matter what your budget is, or what your size is, DB probably has something for you.

Sarah and I at DB

Let’s take a vote on what my next entry should discuss!
1) Colors

2) Themes

3) Food

4) The Cake

-Paige

Credit: Thanks to Sarah for permission to use her photos (hers are the first two pictures featured in this entry)!